In response to: [link] (previous journal entry)

I will see greater things than these...because I trust in Your unfailing love.
I'd like you all to read this, towards the end I talk about the news given me by my doctor today...


A lot has happened since Wednesday 4/16/08 when God poured out His love
If only I could have recorded the countless...random...distractions that "strangely" would occur when I'd tell people what God did Wed. ...

I've faced prejudice and hypocrisy from my economics teacher, who told me I cannot speak about God in class. His reason is that, "it may make people uncomfortable" (he was very assertive and you could hear the anger of his voice when he rebuked me) you know, if I were pointing fingers at people and saying stuff like, "you're going to hell' I would deserve the rebuke, but I was talking to my friends who don't mind hearing me talk about Jesus. I realized that, if people feel uncomfortable because I'm speaking the Name of Jesus, then they ought to examine themselves and find out why it makes them feel that way. Maybe the Holy Spirit is tugging at their heart, and convicting them.
It reminded me of the parable Jesus taught about the wise and foolish builders. The wise builder had his foundation built on Christ (metaphorically speaking) and the foolish builder didn't... if people feel "shaken" up by the Word of God, it's because they have a weak foundation and sooner or later when death comes at the door, their building will collapse.

Then, I shared the story with my school's secretary, and she's a wonderful Christian lady. Well, as a result, one of the counselors overheard we were discussing "religion" and had that reported. For this reason my parents found out by phone (the school called them) and it created an argument between my dad and step mom.
Yeah...

I found that it's through sufferings that you really, trully begin to love your enemies, and be able to actually forgive them from the heart...because when you put your work/labor into something, it's like gold being smelted in the furnace...shaped by fire...or wood going through the grinder, is like the Lord's people going through trials and troubles. We as Christians suffer for His sake, so that we might be made Christlike. And then when He comes back for us, He'll transform us in a twinkling of an eye and we'll be like Him. (we wont BE "gods" like some people falsely teach. We will be a reflection of Him, our Maker)

Yeah...

Today I went to my doctor's appointment. I had gotten a P.E.T. scan this past Tuesday. (this scan was for the purpose of seeing where I am at cancer wise)

I got the privilege to tell my doctor the story, what God did for me... I told him right after he gave me "the bad news": According the scan, I have a tumor the size of a golf ball where the right side of my chest/rib cage. He said the lymphnodes in my neck are negative, but the chest part is positive. (which makes no sense to me because my neck is swollen)

I should have asked more questions, but I will Friday (next appointment)

I know that God is going to do greater things for me in my life than what He's already been doing. I've come this far, I don't believe at all what God is doing is in vain. I believe the impossible, "Everything is possible for him who believes." (Mark 9:23)
When God put my arms out as if I were on the cross, I think He's preparing me for these important days. I don't want to believe that God was telling me that I'll be with Him soon in heaven because of physical death by disease (not that I don't want to be with God, I REALLY do x.X) But.. I know there are things I need to get done here first....God permitting so.. Like the Bible says, "If God is for us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8:31)

I'm standing by what I've been saying. "Even if I lay dying, I will trust in God's unfailing love... that He'll heal me."

I LONG for the day...when my body will be completely restored... the anxieties will be completely gone, the fatigue will be gone, the sickness gone, strength...
I deserve these things, I do. All the sins I've done in the past, hating people, trying to get the people I hated to kill themselves or devise a way to harm them, living in sexual immorality and having lust for guys and girls, stealing and lying, dude, I DESERVE death. What I know I don't deserve is God.

But my life... this life I'm living, is just one of the many great examples of God's abundant love and forgiveness. No matter how far down the pit you think you are, there is no one too lost for God to love, no one too lost for Him to save.

He's there, God IS my strength. Believe me, if it were my own strength I'd be dead along time ago. "apart from Me you can do nothing." (John 15:5) "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness" - Jesus (2Cor 12:9)
...
"For when I am weak, then I am strong." (2 Cor 12:10)
God also told me that night, that whether or not I can feel Him there with me...that He is ALWAYS with me: feeling or not.

"I will never leave you nor forsake you." - GOD (Joshua 1:5)

He's with you, if you want Him to be.
All you have to do is turn away from your sins and believe.

I'm not afraid of death. Death has no hold on me, because of Christ. Because He lives, I will live. Where is your victory, O death? Where is your sting? My heart is steadfast before You, O God, I trust in your unfailing love.

Psalm 119:50
My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life.